Agoraphobia and Activewear

Agoraphobia: An abnormal fear of being in crowds, public places, or open areas, sometimes accompanied by anxiety attacks. (Source: dictionary.com)

New York: crowds - CHECK; public places - CHECK. ME: anxiety attack - CHECK.

What is this city doing to me where literally just going to the grocery store with the girls makes me feel so anxious I have to leave the store? Now I thought this was a normal reaction, until my mom witnessed it happening.  Part of the problem is the uncertainty of it all:  the crowds (regular crowded versus fire marshall crowded), will I find what I am looking for, do they have normal brands in the stores, how long will the checkout line be.

Second factor? Will my girls behave in the store? Have they had to miss nap time because the walk took longer than I expected from point A to B? I think I start to panic and clam up when I think about all the possibilities.  Some days what I wouldn't do to stroll around leisurely in the H-E-B off San Felipe with the girls in the "car" cart and our biggest problem is if the blue car cart is already taken.  Those days of wide aisles and free samples are long gone.

Finishing up grocery shopping with Scarlett bird

With my mom here, I was able to find ways to deal with some of the issues, anticipate some of the factors, but it is still hard, even solo sans children.  Being such a control freak, the unknown is super stressful for me.  Some people may think, seriously? Grocery shopping? How hard can it be? Lets talk about real problems!  But trust me - it is crazy!  Just carrying them home can be a injury-causing chore - try carrying awkward bags about nine blocks, and they leave impressions in your hands.  But I guess I should go ahead and break down and buy yet another rolling contraption to try and stuff into my coat closet.  A lot of people here own rolling hand carts for their groceries.  If I get one, that will put my inventory at: two double strollers, one single stroller, a wagon, a dolly, and the grocery cart.  Does that sound excessive to you?  Everything is so hard! I often think to myself, "I'm not cut out for this!" I refuse to be a wimp.

Let's talk about some of the advantages, or at least pros and cons.  My building has a smaller laundry room in comparison to other buildings, and yet, I can run THREE washing machines at once!  Oh happy day!  For two tiny little girls, Scarlett and Savannah produce a ton of dirty clothes.  All of our laundry is done in less than two hours with multiple machines running.  You've never really lived until you run three machines at the same time.  WOW! My life is so interesting.

In all seriousness, the talent in this city is truly remarkable.  Our church is the perfect example.  At the Redeemer, there are parts of the service that are purely instrumental, and they have hosted everything from oboe to Opera singers.  It is such a blessing to experience this each week.  Another less expected, gift-filled place is the subway.  I had heard about the subway performers before coming to New York, but seeing them first hand makes you stop everything and pay attention.  We can be riding along per usual and suddenly be serenaded by an Ed Sheeran song, followed by a Michael Jackson impersonator at the next stop.

So much of New York is absolutely charming.  With the fall weather upon us, I am beginning to get excited for the changing of the seasons.  And yes, like any basic girl I have enjoyed my fair share of Pumpkin Spice lattes in the past few weeks.  I can literally hear Trey groaning in my head.  And yes, you must get the whipped cream!  With charm comes old, as in our building, for example, which was built in 1900, and has beautiful tall windows with plenty of light and crown molding.  On the other hand, it is therefore SO DUSTY, all the time.  I swear between that and the air pollution I am developing allergies.  Didn't I leave Houston to escape ragweed and pollen? I think Trey has mopped (and I have helped ;) ) at least 20 times in three weeks.  Finally our bare feet are not turning black anymore.

Reading in bed

Another dream has been realized as I took Scarlett to the New York Public Library.  For such a modern city, New York still seems to run on cards - library cards, laundry cards, subway cards. I had been wanting to do this since we moved into the Upper West Side, hoping to make reading fun.  Might as well TRY! :)  Located on Amsterdam, the children's section is right on the ground floor.    I am so thrilled at Scarlett's response to the library.  She wants to participate picking out her books and then looks forward to reading them when we get home.  Her favorites are the Olivia series right now - what can I say, my kids must have something with pigs? Peppa, anyone?  In that vein, there is a Peppa Pig live show coming to the Beacon Theater nearby our house in April, so stay tuned for that! Another cool thing about New York? Broadway shows everywhere!

Other things I managed to accomplish during my mom's stay? Scarlett's first dentist visit (awful), Savannah's 18 month checkup with shots, and my new mom's Bible study (with childcare) at Redeemer.  I am doing what I can to make this huge city seem smaller and I am at least beginning to know a span of 5 by 5 blocks.

Unfortunately, this city never sleeps, so as soon as I master one skill, another obstacle rears its head.  Impending circumstance? WINTER.  It's one thing to live in a cold climate and drive everywhere, it's quite another to think about turning into a popsicle on the playground, or as Scarlett would say Olaf.  I am a Texan - I don't know much about down jackets, rain versus snow boots, weatherproof stroller gear?  Did I also mention I hate being cold?

Now that my mom has left, I have taken off the training wheels and will continue putting myself out there, if not for me, than for my girls, who deserve to have the best experience this city has to offer.  They will not see me be weak, but strong! I will put on my armor (active wear)...
ACTIVEWEAR
(PLEASE watch this video if you have not already...)
...and head out into whatever weather, people, stroller pushing I have to encounter.

Love grows best in little houses

"But you know, love grows best in little houses,

With fewer walls to separate,

Where you eat and sleep so close together.

You can't help but communicate,

Oh, and if we had more room between us, think of all we'd miss.

Love grows best, in houses just like this." 

Doug Stone, "Little Houses"

Leave it to a country song to say it best.  I think I can finally agree with what this is saying.  We have MOVED IN!  We officially reside in the Upper West Side.  Now, it is not quite as magical as I was thinking, but it is definitely more us.  Restaurants have high chairs, there is a Starbucks one block away, I see moms with strollers.  This isn't to say cool people don't live here also, but I can appreciate a little ease for once.  We finally have our house back and we feel relaxed which is really something in this new city.  

Outside of our new place

After a trip to Houston for a friend's wedding, a visit with family, and a LOT of Mexican food, we felt ready to take on move 2.0.  A move is one of those things in life that just seems to be never ending - are you ever really prepared?  Have you organized enough and will they forget to pack some of your things?  The answer is no, so eventually you just have to begin!  My mother-in-law was kind enough to bear yet another excruciating flight with little Savannah back to New York.  This kid has the worst timing as far as getting sick, bless her heart, but at least I wasn't alone!  

In New York, there are a number of obstacles (as usual) to overcome while moving in.  Case in point: street cleaning.  Twice a week they clean the streets, and they have to be clear.  And oh yes, we RANDOMLY picked a day to move in during the street cleaning in front of our apartment, and the exact hours in fact!  Luckily, the movers and my landlord were much less paranoid about this than I was, but all I could think about was a giant tow truck hauling all of our much awaited stuff away!  

Second issue? Getting our furniture and boxes through no less than four doors.  It actually takes three particularly stubborn keys to get into our apartment - so much for modern technology.  This all seems very charming until you are holding a squirmy, loud, one-year-old on your hip, fussing at your three year old to stay put and not get on the elevator by herself or push the button for fun, whilst struggling to figure out whether I turn the key right or left.  Fun stuff!  

The movers did a great job, and even offered a full "unpack", but similar to the last move, this basically means, here is your stuff,  in a pile, on the floor.  Good luck!  I can't blame them really - 100 plus boxes and furniture, plus a 30 box delivery a few days later - just glad I wasn't buried in the pile!  Sadly, we had to say goodbye to Trey's mom the day after move-in and although we worked like crazy people on move-in day, we had DAYS of work left to do, now with the two little ones underfoot.  

Now most people have the luxury of slowly deciding where things go, taking your time, seeing the ebb and flow of the house.  Not I!  I get my husband's assistance for a few short days, then back to work!  I must not squander it!  The drilling into the walls got so loud and continuous at one point, our neighbor very politely came by to check on things, making sure we weren't drilling into her apartment.  OOPS!  At least this is New York!  They are used to a little noise.  We are not comfortable yet being in such close proximity to our neighbors, especially with the "thump-thumping" of the little feet running up and down the hallways (my kids don't pitter-patter).  So far, no complaints, but we shall see.  I am also on the clock concerning my curious toddlers.  All the Goodwill boxes and tools laying around are much more interesting than their actual toys!  Wire hangers and nails really make for safe playthings.

So happy with their toys!

I managed to check out the laundry "situation" which reminded me of being in a dorm again.  Obtain your washer/dryer card, put money on it, $4.00 and two hours later, your clothes are washed.  I managed to forget something I needed quite a few times: credit card, laundry card, laundry detergent so up and down the stairs I went.  I felt like a fraud!  I tried to look cool anyway around the residents of thirty plus years.  They can't tell right?  I'm just dripping sweat and putting my card in backwards. 

I am looking forward to this first normal week and what it has in store for us.  I will continue to get us settled, but it should be much easier in our new habitat, making this house a home.  Scarlett starts ballet classes (tear) and (gasp) I might actually go workout with kids in tow.  Yes, I think love will grow best in a place like this, little house.